Joe Chiang 江効儒

Eckhart Tolle 說 : 不要抗拒任何出現的東西 對於已經出現的東西，不要覺得它不應該出現 (don't demand anything that arises should not arise) 不要被噪音動搖，讓噪音成為打坐的一部分 當你對噪音 (負面能量) 做出「反擊」時，你就會「成為」負面能量 (when you react to toxic energy, you become part of the toxic energy) 唯一能超越它的方法，是透過完全的接納 (the only way you can get beyond it, is by deep acceptance of what is)

Before the argument She doesn’t need to like you, she needs to respect you Obligations don’t work Space is important Don’t be thirsty, do purpose, let her come No fear In the argument Don’t argue anything Stand up for myself, point it out Never answer anything logically, never explain Be honest about my feelings, stand my ground I make the rules Reply light When you react, you become part of it After the argument Don’t show anger just leave Take away attention Feel it, accept it, transcend it uncertainty, unavailability done congruently creates attraction come from position of strength listen

inner game self acceptance is the first thing you need to do respect respect first, love second, this means boundaries first respect means having the ability to walk away touch use plotline, callback, and story to initiate touch playfully each escalation point is a check point, if she doesn't feel weird, escalate to the next one, if she does, back off (calibration) ask out how you make her feel is key bring up the activity, in a fun and visual way invite her to come creatively specifics date male energy (just being a male is good enough for attraction) take the shit test and all her questions light heartedly (counter my innate seriousness) (means all the questions can be rolled off) (being an alpha lover with options is a good thing) (admitting attraction is ok) sexual vibe (counter my innate non sexual vibe) (fragrance) (dance and spin) (eye contact) (close proximity) (hold hand) (you are attractive) get to know who she is, respond to who she is in a fun and flirty way get out of...

After good text, good date, good sex, do not confess your feelings or send gifts, this behavior has high failure probability. Ok, so you confessed and the answer is maybe, remember, maybe is still not a defeat. When cold approaching, give a reason for the encounter. If she can't make it, just say ok, this will differentiate you from 90 percent of men already. Soft close then hard close. Say I don't like x y z, this is setting standards, setting the rules, it is attractive. Don't talk about past relationship, diffuse with humor. Don't talk about future relationship together, this is what she wants to earn. Take charge, killer instinct, make sex happen. Ask for a favor, or a suggestion with something that she is good at. Family meetings early on, is too fast, too early.

communication self amuse (fun, flirty, misinterpret) show value (show my interesting life) don't give pressure, don't try that hard (trying too hard cheapens my value) don't give away free attention (establish attraction first) don't explain the joke (explaining lowers value) trying a couple times is mandatory keeping attraction, aka chemistry, means my masculine vs her feminine frame, aka dominance falling in love (obsession) comes from absence, disqualifying, tension falling in love (obsession) comes from her own thoughts, not something you do to stand out, do not give free attention, my attention is my only currency preemptive, ask for a favor, to get the power back, this is counter intuitive but it works admit sexual attraction is good (don't admit love) fun and flirty vibe is good (white knight loving vibe is not good, it is a turn off) learning period chess game, think about her reaction, strategize, then act (strategize, means study all this first then react)...

heal yourself first love life, live better first show value show non needy show pre-selection self amuse let them invest chess game, think reaction try again, revive it she pulls back, you pull back but even better, preemptive, pull back availability first steps, soft close, before hard close give offer, don't chase, take it or leave it need options, for abundance assume attraction, we should______ desensitize anxiety don't chase (unconditional) , screen (conditional) don't validate freely don't pedestal don't please reframe, not will she like me, but will I like her social calibration / raise interest > then intent (text) resolve the underlying issue when it's good, need to pull back, or will get ghosted don't show hurt, show strength, be grateful something happened protect from gossip after sex, be silent strategize, think different options, then act when she comes back, there has to be punishment, ask for something assertive, make something happen, clo...

girl : like what you did earlier? (negative text) guy : don't say I didn't do that earlier (this is logical) guy : say this instead, where is the love (this is emotional) girl : wait till you taste me (positive text from girl) guy : that good? (this is screening her) (pull back) girl : I don't like it when I don't get my way (shit test) guy: I would be happy to slap that ass to get the brat out of you girl : sorry, I'm busy guy : I understand that you're busy but if we really wanted to meet up I'm sure we can find a few hours (concrete, not pushover answer) girl : how's it going guy : finished a big set at the gym (show value) guy : finished editing a video for my client (show value) girl : what video guy : how to do a threesome (non judgmental, honest) guy : I showed it to my grandma (humor) guy : southern girl : I think you got the wrong girl guy : *midwestern takeaway 1: misinterpret everything takeaway 2: don't give a shit about her shit, be amus...

texting : add feeling in the sentence agree and exaggerate when shit tested (keep the tasers coming) shit test, don't be argumentative texting is lowering my need, upping girls need, flipping frame listen closely, and talk about them flirting is talking about relationships be ready to leave never answer directly, flirt and flip if you think your imperfection is good, it is good she must resist first for her to have something to submit to, don't be scared of being caveman frame date as an adventure categories : dtf, relationship, time waster, dtf don't wishy washy, be straight we frame more, you and I frame less something logical first, then lead to something un-logical, fun or sexual in response I lead, meaning if the interaction is cold, waning, and short. I fix it and persist with non neediness (wait few days between) both have to invest, a waltz, what about you? say it depends, is a pull back after date, after sex, don't text, this is pull , this is letting her inves...

David Hammond 說 : 我今天想講的東西，就是標題字面上的意思。「所有」就是指所有，不管是健康、人際關係、工作、家庭、過去、未來，我們都應該要學習「不要那麼在乎」。 為什麼我這樣說。 「在乎事情」源自於「恐懼」，「恐懼」會讓我們「擔心」，「擔心」是從「這裡」 (上圖) 來的，我們的腦袋只要對事情有一點不確定時，就會產生這種感覺。恐懼的英文拼法 F、E、A、R 就是 False Evidence Appearing Real 的縮寫，也就是把假的信以為真的意思。為什麼對所有事情都不要那麼在乎很重要，因為當你「太過在乎」時，就會永遠「活在恐懼中」 (living out of fear)。 當你「不那麼在乎」時，也就是你能在不確定的狀況下，還能活得很自在 (okay with not knowing) 時，你就會開始從「這裡」(下圖) 過活，你可以叫它是心、靈、或潛意識，不管叫它什麼名字都不重要，重點是你開始透過「信仰」(faith) 過活，「信仰」這個字不能亂用，這裡不是指宗教上的「信仰」，這裡的「信仰」是指你開始意識到，人生有比你腦袋中的感覺更重要的東西 (there is more to life than your mind) ，懂這個道理才能真正開始用「心」過活 (live from your heart)。 勇氣，courage 這個字來自拉丁文的字根 cor，cor 是「心」的意思。自信，confidence 這個字來自拉丁文的字根 fides，fides 是「相信」、「信仰」的意思。相信自己，相信心的感覺，多透過身體，少透過腦袋過生活，因為腦袋基本上就是一個運算恐懼的機器。我們的腦中有一個組織叫 cerebral neocortex (大腦新皮質)，大腦新皮質是一個須要不斷收集過去與未來資訊的機器，但是活在過去，或是活在未來中，就是一切痛苦的來源。我們不應讓這些恐懼主宰我們的生活，我們應該學習從勇氣、從心、從信仰出發。現在這個世界需要的是，更多從這裡 (下圖)，而不是從這裡 (上圖) 出發的人。 Peace。 影片來源: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tnLF29C6GQ

【學習設定界線】 每個人心中都有一個 yes and no (可以與不可以) 的指南針 當你聆聽自己心中的 yes and no 時，別人是一定會生氣的 設定 yes and no 界線只是短暫的痛苦，但它能幫助你處理長期的壓力 全世界那麼多人，只有自己能照顧自己 永遠要多照顧自己一點，就算愛人生病了，須要多照顧他，還是必須多照顧自己 工作狂，其實就是一個不會設定界線的人，決定自己能與不能負責的事情很重要，不能負責的事情就大膽放手

A shit test is a negative frame. To pass, you have to be fine with it. A shit test is about who has the stronger frame. Don't fight out the box. Don't be in the box. Don't respond emotionally, negatively. A negative shit test is good, it is a compliment and an opportunity in disguise. A shit test is about embracing the negative, and everything about yourself. her getting mad is a shit test, own your lover/sexual frame unapologetically How to pass a shit test : agree about the negative and exaggerate. This is about being carefree. How to pass a shit test : misinterpret something bad into something good. This is about being positive.

There are only 4 types (steps) of texts Silence  Shit test  Logical  Positive These 4 steps work with the most people The key is to know which step you are at, and act accordingly 1. If silence give value don’t ask questions send text that don’t require answers 2. If Shit test just pass it, don’t make plans  don’t ask questions 3. If at logical phase this is required normal chatting phase 4. If at positive phase start making plans sequentially don't make too specific plans too fast ask first, are you adventurous  ask second, what's your response to witty banter with a man  ask third, what’s your schedule like this week  Conclusion texting needs patience, that's how I failed before texting needs flirting, but don’t over do it, needs calibration always follow up flirting text, with mysterious maybe, not no, not yes text don’t try jumping steps, even if jumping steps worked before, because everyone is different sometimes you need to make many many mistake...